The Beginning

It's.my.year. Is my theme I tell myself all the time!  When things get hard or I don't feel that I can go on, I remind myself that I can do All things with God, and this is my Year.  Many changes are going to happen this year and changes for the good!  

I have wanted to do a blog about the changes we will go through is year and the bigger reason I think I haven't is because at first I am going to be humiliated.  

My weight has always been a big issue in my life and sure I have always wanted to change things but I always put others before myself.  My kids have become my life and I never did anything for myself.

At the end of 2013 I was very depressed and was having some health issues that if I don't make changes I don't know where I will be at the end of the year and that scares me! 

Let me walk you through this journey of my life and get you caught up to today.

June of 1999 I got married and on my 21st birthday, the following month I found out I was pregnant.  Very exciting news but being newly weds that had only been dating for 6 months this didn't give us very much time together. 
In March 2000 I gave birth to my first born. Jump 2 more years and I gave birth to my second, jump 2 more years and I gave birth to my baby.  That brings us to 2004 and a very rocky marriage and 306 lbs.  After my last born I had a lot of complications and ended up being in the hospital for a week.  I was released with an open wound in my stomach and very helpless with not only a newborn but a 2 year old and a 4 year old whom I would later find out is high functioning Autistic.  

I had a nurse that came to my house twice a day to take care of my wound and as I started to heal my husband became more distant.  3 months later and back on my feet my husband left to go trade in our van that was having some issues.  He NEVER came home.  
This sent me in a downward spiral and good was my only friend.

Over the next year I went from being a stay at home mom to working full time, getting divorced, and finding out my oldest was Autistic.  Very Hard Year!
I tried to remain friends with my ex even though he would verbally abuse me by yelling at me, calling me some horrible names, and making me the bad guy when I would not put my kids in that type of environment. 

Over some time I lost some weight but it never stayed off.  When I had gotten down to 275 I met my Amazing fiancé yet he's 4hrs away.  Knowing someone cared about me again I fell into a comfy spot in life and the weight started coming back.  

By the end of 2012 I found myself coming home laying down on couch and not wanting to do anything.  I was very depressed and had reached an new high weight of 324.  I am very ashamed to say this and it brings tears to my eyes how I let myself go.

Today I m pulling myself out of this hole and I'm fighting to be a survivor!  My friend came over and showed me how to do my make up again and built some confidence. 
2 1/2 weeks ago I joined a gym and find myself wanting to go often.  I am eating healthier and taking care of things at home as well as myself.  I have learned its ok to take ME time!

I'm excited to say I have lost 10 lbs in these past 2 weeks and the fact my varicose Ben s are not killing me anymore I feel more empowered to keep going. 

I am getting married this year and I am going to feel as beautiful as people tell me I am already!  

I have out on my bucket list to do a 5k this coming May.  Yesterday I did 2 miles on the elliptical and finished the rest of my 2 hr workout. I will do this!!

 I have an amazing friend that shared Zija products with my family this journey to get healthy.  Being healthy is more than just working out it is watching what you put in your body.  You truly are what you out in.  

I will be sharing update as much as I can.  I WILL do this because.....
THIS IS MY YEAR!!!!