I needed this!

Day 2 back at the gym and I pushed myself!  I added the bike to the end of my workout and did 18 mins and burned an extra 104 calories!  I have felt under attack these last 2 days and felt like I walked around with a dark cloud hovering over me today.  Last night was a rough patch with Mr C and then got some news during the day about Mr E and on top of that Miss K thought she needed to jump in on the fun and basically want me to give ER the answers to her homework without her thinking.  Ugh so what did I do?

I'm glad you aske my friend let me tell you what I did…ha.

Well after our come to Jesus meeting an me straightening their behaviors out and then me crying because let's face it parenting is the TOUGHEST job in this world.  Then add that your a single parent and you just doubled it.  After that I came and pounded it out in the gym all while I started a read the Bible in a year with an app on my phone. Then the WoW 2013 poured Christian music into me.  I wanted to cry at times because GOD is GOOD my friends!  So I had the word of God pouring into me while I was pounded the devil and sweat out of me!

Please don't take this is being prideful, I will be the first to admit I have a lot of changing to do! But saying that I do feel God working in my life and changing me daily!  I want to be the person that when I die my friends and family know that 1 day they will have the opportunity of seeing me again! I want to hug my Lord and Savior and be reunited with my Auntie June!  I want to leave a Legacy to my kiddos that they knew I wasn't perfect but that I gave it my all and loved my God!

So my theme It's.my.year is turning out to be more than I ever imagined…and I'm Loving it!!

I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength!  Philippians 4:13!

It's.my.year!

Weigh in time after 4 days of down time :-/ eeeekkk

Hey friends I have made a come back from that horrible nasty chest cold that had me down for 4 days!  Never thought I would be bummed I'm missing workout time but hey I actually did!!

Yesterday I went to Zumba and did my biggest loser weigh in and lost another 6 lbs!!!  That brings my grand total to 17 lbs in 5 almost 6 weeks!  That's Awesome!!!!

God is teaching me so much and has really put some encouraging ladies in my path!  I am so very Gratefully!!!

I don't have a lot of time but wanted to touch base and let everyone know I won't be on FB much but I will post my gym check ins and my blog!

Love you all and remember the King is Enthralled with YOUR BEAUTY!!  Yes you!

It's.my.year!!

Really not feeling it…but I conquered it!

So tonight I simply wasn't feeling it!  I worked my butt off last night coming to the gym and then going to Zumba then tossed and turned. I woke up feeling discouraged because everything I went to grab to eat was either bread, bagel, pita chips, or my fiber bar that had chocolate on it.  Why is that a issue you might ask…well last night with the biggest loser challenge, the challenge presented to us was no bread or sweets except on Sunday.  Didn't think it would be that big of a deal seeing i didn't think I ate a lot of bread ha!!!

So I arrived at the gym and didn't push myself on the elliptical but I was on there am did 2.25 miles in 30 minutes.  Not my best but better than had I sat my butt at home right?  I do my full workout including leg strength, ab strength an many arm strengths!

So did I do 100% no but I pushed and made it all the way!

It's my year!

Last chance workout!!!

Ok friends so I don't have a lot of time today but I wanted to bring you all upto date!  So last Tiesday I joined a Biggest Loser challenge with my Zumba girls!  Tomorrow night is our first weigh in!  I am confident that my number has dropped, but jut in case I worked my butt off tonight!  I was so close to 3 miles on the elliptical...2.81, woot woot...100 ab crunches at 50lbs, 75 inner and outer thing presses at 85lbs each 40 push ups with ball and foot press!  I am 1 tired momma!
I am getting ready to go join another challenge with Zija!  I am goin to be held accountable and there is no more excuses!  Stay tuned for weigh in tomorrow!

It's.my.year!

Not the Big Open Room :-/

So today I am a little sore.  Last night I started going back to Zumba and discovered a few friends that start going and some old friends that welcomed me back!  It's a good thing to be surrounded with those that are your true friends! I took a step that I have taken before but really wasn't commited to it.  I wanted to be but after a week or two I would fall away.  This being said I am proud to announce that I have joined the Biggest Loser competition at Zumba!  I am all in and I'm going to give these ladies a good race to fight for this!  I am looking forward to the day I can say....I am Biggest Loser  of the week!!!

So today as we were leaving school, just as it was about time to get ready for the gym, my stomach started really hurting. Then when we got to the gym both ellipticals in the ladies room were in use. i knew this day would come but man i was not expecting it to be today.  i have a phobia of working out in the bug room with everyone.  However i iulled up my big girl panties and wentnout and got on a elliptical machine.  i saw people i have come to know and some i do know and……I MADE IT!!!!

I really think that I have a target on my back and the enemy is trying to tear this confidence and determination down.  I am NOT giving up!!! I have declared this is my Year and I am going to change my life for the better!

I want to thank all of my cheerleaders out there that encourage me to keep doing my best, that I got this, and agreeing that this IS MY YEAR!  Where 2 or more stand together God is there as well!  I believe that God is helping me through this and keeping me on the right path!  With God on my side who can stand against me!

I am MORE than a CONQUEROR!!!! Romans 8:37

It's.my.year!

It's time to lead my family

Hello friends.  This weekend I didn't do the best and my tummy is letting me know it's not happy with my decisions!  I took my parents to Olive Garden yesterday and I fell right into my old pattern.  I ordered the tour of Italy…which is too much good for 1 person, however I only ate half and saved the rest for supper.  Saying that, it's still too much food for 1 setting because of course I ate breadsticks an salad, lets not forget the glass of wine.

Yesterday I was really struggling with getting everyone up and ready for church but I pushed through.  We were running late and then got stopped by a train.  Something really didn't want me to hear yesterday's sermon!  It was Awesome!!  It gave me confirmation that even though I am sacrificing some time with my kids it's ok to take me time.  1 thing that really struck home is Stop It!!! Stop making Excuses, because really that's all they are!  If you want something you are goin to have to work hard for it!  So just STOP IT!!!
Also if you want to lead your family you must first lead yourself!  Ouch!!!

I am up for the challenge!  I want to be everything God has made me to be and let nothing hold me back!  I want to lead my kids in a healthy lifestyle and I want to be the woman at the end of the race saying I DID IT!!!

It's.my.year!!!

Stupid Thin Mint Cookies

Cookies Cookies Cookies, that's all I have been pushing lately.  Ugh well after selling them all day yesterday I noticed I had 1 box of thin mints that the box was damaged.  So what was I to do…I bought it.  At first I did very well, Karli and I only had 2 while selling cookies.  Well fast forward to almost midnight and Cole saying over and over "I'm hungry, what can I eat"?  Ok first of all this kid needs to gain more than a few pounds so if he wants to eat I let him eat.
Well thin mints and extremely tired my guard was down and I caved.  I ended up eating 8 cookies late last night.  It upsets me but everyone falls, what matters is we get back up.  I'm not going to pretend during this journey because I am not perfect.

Although I have to say my taste buds are changing.  Twice this week my kids had chocolate milkshakes.  Karli yesterday after selling cookies and the boys Friday night while Karli went out dancing.  Both times I tasted them and almost went into a sugar shock.  To Karlis much surprise, she said wow since you haven't been eating these things you don't like them anymore!
She was right, I use to love chocolate Anything, yet now it was an unpleasant taste in my mouth!

On a good note…yesterday I pulled out a pair of pants that were in the too small pile.  I got them ON!!!! I was so impressed and after getting dressed Karli said "mom I have noticed your shirts are looking bigger"!  I was also told that this past Friday from a coworker!  Glad a change is beginning to be noticeable because I am noticing as well!  12 more pounds till I try on my weddin dress, eeeekkk I can't wait.  I can't post a pic just yet but I can say that it should fit nice!

Have a great Sunday my friends :-)

I think I'm becoming addicted :-)

So today makes 3 weeks in my journey to get healthy.  When I started Never did I think I would say I think I'm addicted to exercising!  Exercise was always avoided and discouraging to me.  Now my kids get excited to go to the gym and I look forward to it as well!

This morning I weighed and I was down to 314.2, plus let me add I have a visitor right now so that always bloats us a little so I expect that number to drop soon.  Sorry if that's a little tmi eek :-/ oh well my blog so I'm going to leave it.  At least we all know I'm not pg haha ok ok really that's a little much now.

So in this 3 weeks I have really impressed and showed myself that with God on my side I can do ANYTHING I put my mind too!  I have known this but when your over 300lbs you don't think very highly of yourself.  But that's all changing!
Today on the elliptical I threw my towel over the timer.  I was amazed as I was looking at my distance and how I was feeling.  Today was a good inspiring day!ball I have to say is by May I WILL be 5k ready and when the kids try-a-tha-lon is here I will be so excited to be able to run with the. To the finishing line!

To my friends just starting it does get easier!  It's hard work but it gets easier I promise!  Slow and steady wins the race, work your way up don't just jump in ready to run a marathon.  Always remember YOU GOT THIS!

t
It's.my.year!

2.58!!!!

So here I am sitting in a nice relaxing hot sauna.....<sigh> and to think the owners think I pay for a membership to work out, pshh the childcare, sauna, and uninterrupted shower is what made me sign up.  The workout is just a perk!  Ha ha

Ok seriously my gym is amazing and the owners are amazing!! That's why we are pampered after a great workout!  

Ok so last night after a stressful past 24 hrs...I took the dog out before crawling into bed.  Well I tried I should say...I fell down our back stairs that were snow covered.  After a reminder from an amazing friend I drank some Zija and went to bed.  I could feel as I was laying in bed some anxiety creeping up and uneasy feeling in my tummy.  I totally believe this was an attack to get me discouraged and not continue working out.  Cause we all know when you get out of routine it's hard to get back into it.  

Well today my shoulder is a little sore but I came and worked out and didn't let it get me down!

So I want to end with this and encourage others.  Almost 3 weeks ago when I started at the gym I did 5 min on the Machines and thought I was dying....I looked like it too!  Today I did 35 mins for 2.58 miles on the elliptical and it felt Good!!! 

It takes time and commitment but I DID IT!!!

It's.my.year!!!!!!

The Beginning

It's.my.year. Is my theme I tell myself all the time!  When things get hard or I don't feel that I can go on, I remind myself that I can do All things with God, and this is my Year.  Many changes are going to happen this year and changes for the good!  

I have wanted to do a blog about the changes we will go through is year and the bigger reason I think I haven't is because at first I am going to be humiliated.  

My weight has always been a big issue in my life and sure I have always wanted to change things but I always put others before myself.  My kids have become my life and I never did anything for myself.

At the end of 2013 I was very depressed and was having some health issues that if I don't make changes I don't know where I will be at the end of the year and that scares me! 

Let me walk you through this journey of my life and get you caught up to today.

June of 1999 I got married and on my 21st birthday, the following month I found out I was pregnant.  Very exciting news but being newly weds that had only been dating for 6 months this didn't give us very much time together. 
In March 2000 I gave birth to my first born. Jump 2 more years and I gave birth to my second, jump 2 more years and I gave birth to my baby.  That brings us to 2004 and a very rocky marriage and 306 lbs.  After my last born I had a lot of complications and ended up being in the hospital for a week.  I was released with an open wound in my stomach and very helpless with not only a newborn but a 2 year old and a 4 year old whom I would later find out is high functioning Autistic.  

I had a nurse that came to my house twice a day to take care of my wound and as I started to heal my husband became more distant.  3 months later and back on my feet my husband left to go trade in our van that was having some issues.  He NEVER came home.  
This sent me in a downward spiral and good was my only friend.

Over the next year I went from being a stay at home mom to working full time, getting divorced, and finding out my oldest was Autistic.  Very Hard Year!
I tried to remain friends with my ex even though he would verbally abuse me by yelling at me, calling me some horrible names, and making me the bad guy when I would not put my kids in that type of environment. 

Over some time I lost some weight but it never stayed off.  When I had gotten down to 275 I met my Amazing fiancé yet he's 4hrs away.  Knowing someone cared about me again I fell into a comfy spot in life and the weight started coming back.  

By the end of 2012 I found myself coming home laying down on couch and not wanting to do anything.  I was very depressed and had reached an new high weight of 324.  I am very ashamed to say this and it brings tears to my eyes how I let myself go.

Today I m pulling myself out of this hole and I'm fighting to be a survivor!  My friend came over and showed me how to do my make up again and built some confidence. 
2 1/2 weeks ago I joined a gym and find myself wanting to go often.  I am eating healthier and taking care of things at home as well as myself.  I have learned its ok to take ME time!

I'm excited to say I have lost 10 lbs in these past 2 weeks and the fact my varicose Ben s are not killing me anymore I feel more empowered to keep going. 

I am getting married this year and I am going to feel as beautiful as people tell me I am already!  

I have out on my bucket list to do a 5k this coming May.  Yesterday I did 2 miles on the elliptical and finished the rest of my 2 hr workout. I will do this!!

 I have an amazing friend that shared Zija products with my family this journey to get healthy.  Being healthy is more than just working out it is watching what you put in your body.  You truly are what you out in.  

I will be sharing update as much as I can.  I WILL do this because.....
THIS IS MY YEAR!!!!